August 7, 2020. Some hikes bring heavy times, like today on our hike around Indian Lake. We stumbled upon a rather large cricket in the path, struggling to move. It was alive, trying to fly/hop, but seemed stuck. It was struggling and we felt helpless watching it struggle. We were able to move it off the path and into the taller grasses but, it seemed clear, the end of this cricket’s life was near.
Earlier on, Nick and Penelope spotted a vibrant green frog. Elijah and I rushed over to see the discovery but, alas, the frog hopped into the tall grasses before we could see it. Despite Nick’s extensive efforts to find it for us, it got away…and it was gone.
We also found a fun toad that we carried for awhile. We became quite fond of the cute toad, who seemed perfectly comfortable in Elijah’s hands. But, at some point, we had to let it go and return it to its home.
Loss. Death. Dying. Letting go. These are such hard things for so many of us. Because death, dying, and the loss of loved ones are such painful things, it makes sense why we would avoid thinking about them (or even deny that part of existence). Yet, in these times, when death and dying are all around us, it feels like we can’t deny it anymore—nor should we.
As hard as it was at times, I feel so proud of KNEP today. I am grateful for the opportunities to engage the process of grief. It is an incredibly brave thing to feel the pain of loss, to give that pain a voice, and to love and accept ourselves (to the best of our ability) as we feel our feelings.
I’m not sure loss will ever get easier. I process and feel things deeply. I don’t think I can just get really good at grief by practicing it…Like, if I just do it enough, then I won’t have to feel the pain. Loss is a part of life. And when loss happens, grief is an ongoing process of wrestling toward acceptance. May I remain brave enough to continue engaging the process.
KNEP Hikes 